Announcers booth: three suited men sit together.
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is Bart Tadshaw
I’m Buck Jones
and I’m Ronny Tomo with Thursday night football.
Bart: Sorry Ronny, this is Sunday night football.
Buck: Wrong again, it’s Monday night Football fella’s. Didn’t you listen to the annoying song?
Ronny: Will somebody please tell me what day it is ??
Buck: It’s Monday night and we’re the new broadcast team, so sit back, relax and enjoy tonight’s game between the St. Louis Rams..
Bart: Aren’t they the L.A. Rams this year?
Ronny: I thought the Chargers were in L.A. now?
Buck: They’re both in L.A. And tonight they’ll be playing the Oakland Raiders.
Bart: Didn’t they move to Vegas?
Ronny: Didn’t who move to Vegas?
Bart: The Raiders?
Buck: That’s not until next year.
Bart: Isn’t it next year yet?
Buck: We’ll be right back after this.
Fast forward to the first set of downs:
Buck: The Quarterback takes the snap, fakes the hand off, drops back to pass and is clearly pestered by the charging linebacker as the pass sails by the receiver.
Ronny: That wasn’t a pester, it was more of a bother. The lineman’s swipe at the ball was a pester.
Bart: But the linebacker had a pester and a bother, which by rule is definitely an annoy.
Buck: What rule book are you referring to?
Bart produces a red book, opens it.
Bart: On page 14 of “Useless stats designed to give sports announcers more to talk about” “One pester and one bother equals an annoy. It’s right after baseball’s “exit velocity to barrel impact angle equals jibberish”
Ronny: Let me see that.
Bart hands the book to Ronny.
Buck: Shouldn’t we pay attention to the game?
Bart: It’s just another replay and a close-up of the coach picking his nose.
Ronny: (reading the red book) Here’s one from golf. “Strokes gained from not screaming “hit the fucking ball” whenever playing with Jason “All” Day.
Buck: Guys, the Chargers just scored a touchdown.
Ronny & Bart: Don’t worry about it, they’ll be at least 5 replays, and a pester.
Buck: That was clearly an annoy.